NoCtUrNaL.. sOuLfUL.. DiViNe & So DaMn BoNa FiDe..

2008-01-24T11:02:00.002+08:00

i can't get over heath ledger's death.

i enjoyed his movies.

i enjoyed watching him.

may he rest in peace....

2008-01-24T10:51:00.001+08:00

i guess the honeymoon period is over.. OR he's being temperamental.. he's been acting weird the past week.

oh and that slutty bitch won't leave him alone and it's driving me nuts.

sighs.. how can someone be so shameless as to still stick around after u declared that u don't want anything to do with him anymore.

it's really getting to me and i can't handle it.

on brighter side of things, i made$166... first prize 0608. i don't usually play but i guess when i finally did (4th or 5th time) i got lucky on sat 19th :)

what else... sales has been good i can't wait to find out how many levels of incentive i got for my annual incentive.. need money lah.. wanna study :) any sponsors?

apart from that.. just feeling kinda frustrated with everyone and everything.

and i hate myself that i can't fully trust him.

peace love and blessings
sj

2006-12-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

i think i'm in love.

but i'm trying to not rush into it.... cos who ain't scared ofa broken heart.

he's reciprocating... he likes me too :) i like him a lot.

here's to a fab 2007... i hope this year is better than 2006.... it's time to move on from wen...... but he'll always have a place in my heart...... the real love in my lifetime...... i dunno if i'll ever feel that way for another man again... BUT regardless that doesn't mean i'm not going to try :)

me new boy and me.... we both love this song :

She Makes My Day

I feel so lucky loving her
Tell me what else is magic for
She thinks it’s better left unsaid

She makes her mind up at a glance
It really made a difference
I seem to be unconditionally hers

She’s like a new girl every day
And all the rest don’t bother me
I’m far too busy lovin’ her

I’ll never be lonely now I know her
(she
Now I know her
She fills my heart with joy
(that’s in our best interest. she makes my day)
She just has to smile to blow my cares away
(she
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once

Our love was unintentional
She says we’re not responsible
She thinks with her chin up

She always makes uncommon sense
Always knows just what to say
She always takes me unawares

In less time than it takes to fall down here
And there you are
We never fought it anyway

I’ll never be lonely now I know her
(she
She fills my heart with joy
(that’s in our best interest. she makes my day)
She just has to smile to blow my cares away
(
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

I feel so lucky loving her
Tell me what else is magic for
She thinks it’s better left unsaid

She makes her mind up at a glance
It really made a difference
I seem to be unconditionally hers

She’s like a new girl every day
And all the rest don’t bother me
I’m far too busy lovin’ her

I’ll never be lonely now I know her
(she
She fills my heart with joy
(that’s in our best interest. she makes my day)
She just has to smile to blow my cares away
(
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once
She’s all good lovin’ at once

2006-10-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

You Are An ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

2006-09-19T09:21:00.000+08:00

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/ComedianRusselPeters.htm

2006-09-13T16:46:00.000+08:00

So after a long silence, i've decided to start writing proper blog posts again. why? cos i miss writing. i really do.. i'll find something to talk about and erm. talk about it.

I've been doing some deep reflecting the past few weeks.. simple reason : can't sleep...

what have i achieved in this life? well i've accomplished most of my dreams but have i really accomplished the other things that i thought i would by age 25 yet? no.

i've been pushing doing my masters for the past 2 years. am i ever going to better myself? i'm hoping so but it's not happening. mainly financial matters and lack of time holding me back.

frankly, age 25, i was suppose to marry but that didn't happen either. hell, after ewen, i haven't even had a steady boyfriend.... maybe the phobia of letting my heart go again is there...

i've been on so many dates with so many different people and though there's something there... i run away... there's one person i'm keen on but i'm not going to jinx it. let's see how it goes.

i thought i'd be somewhere work wise by now.... but in my company it's not that easy to get promoted...

now i ask myself... should i find a company that allows me to work my way up or wait a while more and continue doing something i really love but not go anywhere anytime soon..

what's the logical thing to do. i've been on interviews but i never felt that vibe .. that good vibe that tells me you know what.. this is a good thing, go for it.

i feel like i'm in limbo. wanting to accomplish things and make a name for myself by age 30 and yet staying where i am now will not allow me to do so.

i know many others my age feel the same way to but we either find a way to get out of the slump or stay here....

i've lost so many mates and made so many more.... but the ones i truly miss are those i gave a big chunk of my heart to but only had it returned to me in shredded pieces.

i've not expressed myself in this way in a long time... but i tihnk i will try to do this more often... get the words out more smoothly... and when it feels better, talk about broader topics ahaha :)

alrighty... peace love and blessings...

check out robert rankin.... he's bloody cool!

steve irwin - r.i.p.

2006-08-31T14:30:00.000+08:00

SADIE-JANE, you're a Zebra in the wild world of love.

Look at you, Zebra! Could you have any more style? Your charm and polish put the rest of those uncivilized beasts to shame. Like your zebra counterparts who have keen eyesight, you too, have a discerning eye when it comes to — well, most everything — from who you're attracted to, to where you find them.

There's just something about you. Maybe it's those classically bold stripes that people just can't say no to. You don't need a personal shopper to know that black never misses. Speaking of never missing, your fertile love life is so "on," it's probably as steamy as the watering holes that you roam. You tend to travel the dating plains with your hip herd flanking you on each side. Your entourage helps you spot potential mates and ensures that you don't migrate too far from your ideal. Lucky for you, you have no problem attracting glances and advances from some of the finer species in your habitat. As for your alluring animal magnetism, your class and good looks will surely impress any prey as you make your way through the wild expanses of love.

2006-07-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

k i dunno why but ic an't see anything i post...

so if someone could so kindly email me at sodamnbonafide@hotmail.com to let me know if this site still works pls... i'll be very grateful

now when i say works... i mean you can click on the links and see my tagboard, my blog entries, my links etc.....

cos all i see is the main frame.

mucho appreciato :)

2006-06-27T09:19:00.000+08:00

Bryan Singer... why oh why didn't you just stick to XMEN instead of churning out a biblical-themed / martyred Superman...sigh

He is though very handsome... and an eerie dead ringer for Christopher Reeves... especially towards the end.... in a particular scene..... when Lois and Child meet him... whoa...

I prefer him with the specs on though...... omg... he looks so hot ;)

More to come

2006-06-14T13:56:00.000+08:00

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/honda.php

sobs. i miss my honda

2006-06-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

Me mate, Stephen, has an abandoned 7 mth old female husky for adoption.. previous owners are fuckers... the dog wasnt perfect enough for them. has UTI, which is curable.

if you're keen to adopt it, email stephen: inturnet@hotmail.com

2006-06-05T14:54:00.000+08:00

nirpal's left.. i'm so sad.. i teared at the airport =( last author i teared was john connolly... before that louise welsh...

sighs... before he left... he gave me a gift... you'll never guess what... an ipod nano... how sweet!!! (image taken from apple site)

but that's not why i love him.. that was a lil' perk. even if he didn't give it to me i'd still love him to bits...

despite it being such a short period of time.. we really bonded.. i told him stuff i never told anyone.... i dunno why... and he the same...

i really do miss him and i hope he will come back and we'll have a ball of a time again =)

peace love and blessings.....

2006-06-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

just finished reading these 2 books.. loved them.. i get why everyone's so hyped about HARUKI MURAKAMI...

I felt like somehow i could relate to this book.. SPUTNIK SWEETHEART.. i loved it and enjoyed it thoroughly.... and it seems... his other books are even better! so i can't wait to start on another.... slightly depressing though.... so i've to read a more 'cheery' book before i get on to the next one and savour it fully...

Amazon.co.uk Review
The narrator, a teacher, is in love with the beguiling, odd Sumire. As his best friend, she is not adverse to phoning at three or four in the morning to ask a pointless question or share a strange thought. Sumire, though, is in love with a beautiful, older woman, Miu, who does not, can not, return her affections. Longing for Sumire, K (that is all we are told by way of a name) finds some comfort in a purely sexual relationship with the mother of one of his pupils. But the consolation is slight. K is unhappy. Miu and Sumire, now working together, take a business trip to a Greek Island. Something happens, he is not told what, and so K travels to Greece to see what help he can offer.

Themes of love, loss, sexuality, identity and selfhood are all interrogated, woven into a compelling, romantic, serious and sometimes sad book. It is a disarmingly simple, hugely satisfying, intelligent and moving work and one of Murakami's best. Simplicity, sprinkled with a dose of his magic, has enabled Murakami to write candidly, succinctly and beautifully about the complications and difficulties of love and loving. --Mark Thwaite

my second book is by an author my colleague/mate REGINA recommended to me : DAN RHODES... and i read his first book: Anthropology: And a Hundred Other Stories

This review that i got off amazon best describes the book in my opinion (p.s. i was blown away loved it. couldn't put it down)... i need not add on : Blissful sums this one up. 101 stories, each 101 words long, the whole thing readable in a couple of hours but it will stay with you infinitely longer. These are very short stories about love, all told from a male perspective, and almost every one is a winner. Some make you laugh, some make you cry, but they all prove that Dan Rhodes is a fantastic writer, and this is a book to treasure

*all images + reviews from amazon.co.uk

this one's gonna be a long one... today's the last day for his (NIRPAL SINGH DHALIWAL) tour in singapore and kl.. he extended his stay and i have to say... i love and adore this man... he's the sweetest thing and he's really smart and caring... and he's so fun... :) we've been hanging out daily and i've just been having the best time.. liz jones you're a lucky woman. heh :)

attached.. compilation of his stay.... i did a lil' diary thingy...

2006-06-01T14:36:00.000+08:00

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2006-05-21T15:35:00.000+08:00

books of the wk :) i've finished the following:

nirpal singh dhaliwal is the author of tourism.. he's touring end of May...
TOURISM kept me attention... you can somewhat relate a lil' to the character 'puppy' and yet you just go.. what an a-hole... eesh... entertaining none the less.. recommended :)

cheesy porn-like bits that make you raise an eyebrow..... and go.. this poor poor sod.... lol...

(a reviewer said): This book offers everything - filth, action and art. The main character, Puppy is a bit of a loser and pretty much 'gets by' in everyday life. He uses is supposed good looks to meet and succeed with women and has friends from all walks of life. He gets lucky and acquaints with people in high circles..
The author goes into detail about intimate encounters and also describes the 'setting' of the story throughout, very well. Many of the well-known London landmarks are mentioned and I really liked the general description of a London Summer. There were a also a few twists towards the end of the story.

2006-05-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

http://www.onlinerock.com/clubs/guitar/sr600bass.html

wow... how long ago was this..

i love this!

2006-04-29T12:59:00.000+08:00

MUST WATCH MOVIES:

find Me Guilty (2006) - showing At Cathay Orchard & SHAW Lido Classic

Release Date: 4th May 2006
Details: 125 mins, G, Drama
Starring: Richard Portnow, Annabella Sciorra, Joe Pesci, Vin Diesel, Peter Dinklage
[full cast]
Directed by: Sidney Lumet
Local Distributor: Shaw Organization
A drama based on the longest Mafia trial in U.S. history, mobster Jack DiNorscio (Diesel), faced with a series of charges, decides to stand trial instead of ratting out his family and associates. A wrench is thrown into the system when DiNorscio opts to defend himself.

MIRRORMASK
Release Date: 20th April 2006 Showing At Golden Village Plaza & Tampines

Details: 104 mins, PG, Fantasy
Starring: Dora Bryan, Stephanie Leonidas, Gina McKee
Directed by: Dave McKean
Local Distributor: Columbia Tristar Films
Written by Neil Gaiman (SANDMAN) and directed by frequent collaborator and illustrator Dave McKean, the film mixes live action and animation, and manages to keep the graphic novelists' aesthetic largely intact: the frames are full of weirdly-skewed perspectives, foggy patches, and mismatched textures that appear grandly decayed.

Stephanie Leonidas plays Helena, a young girl who juggles in her father's circus, but longs for a "normal" life. She spends her free time drawing elaborate, fantastical black-and-white pictures which cover every surface of her bedroom. One night, after an argument with her mother (Gina McKee) during which Helena lets fly some rather painful pronouncements, Mom falls ill with an unspecified affliction. As the family waits for news and the circus struggles financially, Helena blames herself for the misfortune.

The night before her mother's surgery, Helena is mysteriously transported to a world which bears a strong resemblance to her own drawings, and is populated by strange creatures who follow an even stranger logic. Helena and her traveling companion, fellow juggler Valentine (Jason Barry), sign on to find a mysterious charm which will wake the queen of the city--also played by McKee--from her deep sleep, defeating the forces of darkness and returning Helena home.

Thank You For Smoking (2006)
Release Date: 1st June 2006
Details: 92 mins, M18, Comedy
Starring: Robert Duvall, William Macy, Aaron Eckhart, J Simmons, Maria Bello
[full cast]
Directed by: Jason Reitman
Local Distributor: 20th Century Fox
The hero of THANK YOU FOR SMOKING is Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart), chief spokesman for Big Tobacco, who makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers in today's neo-puritanical culture. Confronted by health zealots out to ban tobacco and an opportunistic senator (William H. Macy) who wants to put poison labels on cigarette packs, Nick goes on a PR offensive, spinning away the dangers of cigarettes on TV talk shows and enlisting a Hollywood super-agent (Rob Lowe) to promote smoking in movies. Nick's newfound notoriety attracts the attention of both tobacco's head honcho (Robert Duvall) and an investigative reporter for an influential Washington daily (Katie Holmes). Nick says he is just doing what it takes to pay the mortgage, but he begins to think about how his work makes him look in the eyes of his young son Joey (Cameron Bright).

2006-04-25T16:09:00.000+08:00

Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I’m learning, I must be warmer now
I’ll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I’m aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I’ll face it with a grin
I’m never giving in
On - with the show -
I’ll top the bill, I’ll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...

2006-04-24T18:16:00.000+08:00

***N I HATE YOU.

you destroyed the person i am.

i hate who i am now

it's all cos of you

i wish i never knew you

i wish you never kissed me

i wish you never came into my life

and i wish how i wish you get your heart broken like mine's been.

and you'll never be able to move on again...

you're nothing but an S.O.B.

2006-04-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

=) k. bored... so took this.. still at work...

2006-04-11T09:38:00.000+08:00

=)

You’re a Thong!
You’re blatantly sexy and it shows in many aspects of your personality. From your taste for decadence to your sultry attitude, you have the ability to make a statement without making a scene. No wonder your panty persona is the (chicly) conspicuous thong, which is as seductive, sophisticated, and edgy-elegant as yourself!

You’re a Bewitching Babe
Guests who gain access to your lair can’t help but fall prey to your seductive ways. Sensual is the name of your game, and everything you surround yourself with ensures it’s a win-win for everyone. From luscious fabrics to rich colors, you accentuate your sexuality with beguiling accessories that are bound to bring bedroom guests to their knees. Lucky for them you offer a soft landing place.

You’re a steamy kisser!
Your hot-and-heavy kissing style can turn even the meekest of make-outs into a full-contact sport. You keep the object of your affection afire by grabbing and holding on tight—then steaming up the windows.

You’re Hot to Trot
Even a fire hose and unlimited water couldn’t extinguish your undeniably sizzling sex appeal. Whether you’re actually “good to go,” so to speak, is beside the point. Your flirtatious personality and sultry vibe can turn the coolest, most collected love interest into a molten mound of lust—likewise, innocent bystanders who forget that it’s dangerous to play with fire.

Your Charisma
As a charismatic charmer you radiate self-confidence, joy, and positive energy. As a result, people make a point of being near you just so they can get a little of that natural high you’ve got in excess. Fortunately for them your spirit and passion for life are contagious. Tip: To complement your magnetic personality, choose bold clothes that assert your style, but bypass flashy stuff—you already shine brightly enough.

Audaciously Sexy
Fearless and frisky to the core, you’re ever eager to try new things, never afraid to take a risk, and bold enough to make the first and even second move—regularly. Even though some of your more timid targets can find you intimidating, they can’t help but take the bait because your magnetism and charisma is so irresistible.

2006-04-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

the new look

heh...

as of 7th april... 25th birthday eve

p.s. thanks for all the birthday sms msgs, ecards, emails, calls, etc :)

aww.. it's so nice to be loved..

thank you everyone :)

peace love and blessings :)

pps... permed hair... chopped off almost waist length locks..... its' a new new.. NEW start... it looks a tad flat here but that's cos it was all wind blown and stuff :( but will take newer photo soon heh :)

sj

2006-04-02T13:53:00.000+08:00

i did this meself.. heh

for more information on the x-men, click here

Actors : xmen 3 (SG: 25TH MAY 2006)
Directed by
Brett Ratner

Writing credits
Zak Penn (written by) &
Simon Kinberg (written by)

Cast (in credits order)
Patrick Stewart .... Professor Charles Xavier
Hugh Jackman .... Logan/Wolverine
Ian McKellen .... Eric Lensherr/Magneto
Halle Berry .... Ororo Munroe/Storm
Famke Janssen .... Dr. Jean Grey/Phoenix
Anna Paquin .... Marie D'Ancanto/Rogue
Kelsey Grammer .... Dr. Hank McCoy/Beast
Rebecca Romijn .... Raven Darkholme/Mystique
Shawn Ashmore .... Bobby Drake/Iceman
Ellen Page .... Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat
Ben Foster .... Warren Worthington III/Angel
Ken Leung .... Quill
Aaron Stanford .... John Allerdyce/Pyro
James Marsden .... Scott Summers/Cyclops
Olivia Williams .... Dr. Moira MacTaggart
Daniel Cudmore .... Piotr Rasputin/Colossus
Vinnie Jones .... Cain Marko/Juggernaut
Dania Ramirez .... Callisto
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Andrew Abud .... Chauffeur
Shohreh Aghdashloo .... Dr. Cecilia Reyes
Cayden Boyd .... Young Warren Worthington
Cameron Bright .... Leech
Eric Dane .... Jamie Madrox/Multiple Man
Bill Duke .... Bolivar Trask
Anthony Heald .... The Interrogator
Bryce Hodgson .... Artie
Shauna Kain .... Theresa Rourke/Siryn
James Leard .... Doctor
Doug Lennox .... Bartender
Mei Melançon .... Betsy Braddock/Psylocke (as Mei Melançon)
Vince Murdocco .... Omega Red
Michael Murphy .... Warren Worthington, Sr.
Tanya Newbould .... Dr. McCoy's (Beast) Assistant
Omahyra .... Arclight (as Omahyra Mota)
Aaron Pearl .... Team leader
Luke Pohl .... Fleet
Haley Ramm .... Young Jean Grey
Josef Sommer .... The President of the United States (attached)
Connor Widdows .... Jones
Kea Wong .... Jubilation Lee/Jubilee
Desiree Zurowski .... Jean Grey's mother
Denis Corbett .... School gardener (uncredited)

2006-03-31T14:21:00.000+08:00

me age 2... heh

2006-03-26T18:24:00.000+08:00

bored so i decided to go check out how many SADIE songs exist. here are some:

SUEDE: SADIE (WOOHOO!!!!)

BEATLES: SEXY SADIE

R KELLY: SADIE

BARBARA STREISAND: SADIE, SADIE

ALKALINE TRIO: Sadie

GRATITUDE: SADIE

bob dylan: Little Sadie

u2: surrender (sadie's in the lyrics)

black sabbath: All Moving Parts (Stand Still) - sadie mentioned

aerosmith: my girl (Sadie)

2006-03-23T17:23:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT I'M DOING TONIGHT :)

2006-03-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

One of the coolest videos ever... well in my opinion anyway..

http://www.cosmicrealms.com/coolness/movies/the_real_simpsons.wmv

2006-03-12T14:10:00.000+08:00

You're 80% Irish

Congratulations, you're a shining example of an Irish lass (or lad).
There's hardly anyone more Irish than you!

How Irish Are You?

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control.
You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.

The minute you meet anyone, you can make them crave you almost immediately.

You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.

A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

2006-03-12T12:22:00.000+08:00

i miss me honda :( though i do love me hyundai tuscon... :P

2006-03-11T15:00:00.000+08:00

and god created man.....

men.. as fine as the 2 here...jason lewis & brandon boyd. oh to be the vodka bottle..

2006-03-04T12:24:00.000+08:00

i'm in so much pain this week. i feel my heart is broken all over again. this is to you. this is for you. haven't you caused me enough sorrow.... more to come... if not for all the work i had to do...

"Matchbox Twenty : If You're Gone"

i think i've already lost you
i think your already gone
i think im finally scared now
you think im weak, but i think your wrong
i think you're already leaving
feels like your hand is on the door
i thought this place was an empire
now im relaxed
i can't be sure

i think you're so mean
i think we should try
i think i could need
this in my life
i think im scared
i think too much
i know its wrong, its a problem im dealing

if you're gone- maybe it's time to come home
there's an awful lot of breathing room
but i can hardly move
if you're gone- baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

i bet your hard to get over
i bet the room just won't shine
i bet my hands i can stay here
i bet you mean, more than you mind

i think you're so mean
i think we should try
i think i could need this in my life
i think im just scared, that i know too much
i can't relate and that's a problem im feeling

if you're gone- maybe it's time to come home
there's an awful lot of breathing room
but i can hardly move
if you're gone- baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
in everything in you

i think your so mean, i think we should try
i think i could need this in my life
i think im just scared, do i talk too much?
i know its wrong, its a problem im dealing

i think i could need this in my life
i think im just scared
that i know too much
i can't relate and thats a problem im feeling

2006-03-01T12:09:00.001+08:00

You Are an Indie Rocker!

You are in it for the love of the music...
And you couldn't care less about being signed by a big label.
You're all about loving and supporting music - not commercial success.
You may not have the fame and glory, but you have complete control of your career.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

2006-02-28T18:18:00.000+08:00

just as i typed the previous blog entry (before the books one.....)

i managed to open my email..... and.... he emailed me..... and i ... was just speechless.... stun. i dunno how to react...

so i closed the email..... his name stood out amongst all the others.... at first i wanted to read it... then not.. so i pushed it aside first.... thinking maybe he wrote to say he received the books.... so fine...just hold on a lil' while... shouldn't be a problem right....

so i read the other emails (email was down earlier)....

then i got to his.... and as i read the email.. i realised it's something i kinda have been waiting for him to say....... for the longest time... and at the same time.. it made me realise that..... i'm... still.... not over him..... it's just confirmed yet again...... nothing has meant so much to me.....

as i sat here... typing out a reply to his email..... so many questions popped in my head.... in my heart.... on and on i went....

why did you hurt me... how could you hurt me.... did you love me? or did you hate me... or ... then.... i just stopped...

stopped.... stared at the screen... and the tears just started to fall.... and they couldn't stop.... bleeding like a fresh wound... overflowing.... the pain so fresh it felt like it just happened....

i really do miss you so much........ =| so much i can't understand.... just wishing you'd explain it to me....

i can't expect you to .... love me like i love you... how did i go from trying to cope.... despite all the things that remind me so much of you.... to spiraling backwards...

yet at the same time... i'd do anything to hold you in my arms again...

anything.....

so many songs in sarah mclachlan's surfacing songs.... i dedicate to you..

2006-02-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

just a bit on what i've been reading. quite sad huh? work in the book trade, promote all these books but yet... haven't read much in 2005... in 2006 it's gonna be different... new year's resolution heh.. after the paul auster book..city of glass..here's the other stuff i've been reading.. heh

mostly graphic novels.. yes yes BUT SO WHAT ;) haha.. :) i've also read proper books.. check 'em out..

for the 'proper' books .. i've read:

usually i'm not into these kinda books but for this one.. i just couldn't put it down.... wow... loved it... look out for her.. one of our biggest authors for 2006...

i also re-read one of me fave books.... THE APOLOGIST... cos i needed cheering up..

also tried reading james frey but.. -shrugs- read it 3/4s and put it down... got boring.. now i'm reading the following graphic novel and
going to start on this book:

2006-02-28T10:24:00.000+08:00

i'm just kidding myself. despite the dates and all that... nothing stops me from thinking about him. nothing.

i can't move on i can't seem to even wanna make myself try.

everything reminds me of him.... and the past 2 wks especially i've realised it's even stronger then before and i realised if it's even possible i love him even more.

how? i dunno. i dun care about anything or anyone else.. i wonder abt him and if he misses me too... or if he even ever... loved me..

it's a big question mark hanging over my head... and i can't help but wonder why..

it had to end....

anyway.. i'm stuck at the office with no email access.. GREAT ... just GREAT...
-sigh-

peace love and blessings

2006-02-28T10:23:00.000+08:00

More about the concert later on..... for now... my fave oasis song:

Oasis
Definately Maybe (1994)
Live Forever

Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I will never be
All the things that I want to be
But now is not the time to cry
Now's the time to find out why
I think you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
We're gonna live forever
Gonna live forever
Live forever
Forever

2006-02-17T12:12:00.000+08:00

Release Date: 16th February 2006
Details: 134 mins, R21, Romance/Drama/Western
Starring: Randy Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anna Faris, Heath Ledger, Anne Hathaway
[full cast]
Directed by: Ang Lee
Local Distributor: Shaw Brothers
A raw, powerful story of two young men, a Wyoming ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy, who meet in the summer of 1963 sheepherding in the harsh, high grasslands of contemporary Wyoming and form an unorthodox yet life-long bond--by turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted.

==================

who hasn't already heard about this? had special preview last week and i went for it together with Reg... she cried at the end.. i was deeply moved but no tears lah..

have to admit though the guitar twanging irritated me a bit... yea i know it triggers a more tranquil feel whenever brokeback mountain is shown... bringing you back to the time the 2 young lads first fell in love (had their first romp) etc... heh..

good movie... felt for the michelle williams character... honestly... never been a fan of any of the actors... well jake i can't say much cos i haven't even watched any of his movies....

but ... he's a mighty fine actor... heath shy and all yea... i get that but i couldn't figure out what the hell the boy was saying.... open your mouth a lil' bit more aye.... you got the cowpoke twang right.. but it took you more than half the frigging movie to then open your mouth a bit more so we could understand what you were saying.

reg understood by reading the chinese subtitles.. i was just straining to hear... eesh..

good cast otherwise.... goot chemistry.

btw.. the guitar twanging... nominated for BEST ORIGINAL SCORE... eesh.. i get what they're trying to do but it's still a TAD annoying

sighs... apart from that, i missed out on franz ferdinandz.. 2 reasons.. had lots of work and wasn't sure if i could make it... second a tad broke... :
sigh.. oasis got tix so gotta go :)

went out with S on valentine's day.... went to east coast park.. and he bought me supper haha :P

was suppose to meet dylan on valentine's day but by the time i finished work.... he couldn't make it and time was too short...... so we're going out today :)

we've (S & me) been out together almost every day.... today no though cos i'm giong out with dylan....

i dunno.... i'm sensing he's more attracted..... and.... there's this bond that's happening but yet... we've both kinda got a bit of a wall up as well.. dunno lah..

i'm suppose to get 'off' him.. i also dunno what's happening.

btw.. as of valentine's day my lips swelled up. and i dunno why. ugh

S is calling me HOT LIPS. hmmph.. :P

peace love and blessings

2006-02-14T09:25:00.000+08:00

baby.... this song is for you... i love and miss you... happy valentine's day

ORDINARY PEOPLE: JOHN LEGEND

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

2006-02-10T11:40:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and tired of bloody injustice.

i'm sick and tired of guys because they're driving me nuts.

they're liars and cheats and they think nothing of toying with people's feelings

got into a minor accident few months ago. stupid fucking asshole hit me from the back.

insurance company declined to pay for damages so guess what happens. he sends me a lawyer's letter... what the fuck?

if the insurance people don't wanna pay you why the hell can't you just accept it and fucking move on.

so fine, now he's charging me for his lawyer's fees and little nonsense items like postage costs/etc...

..... i wish i could kill him. i really do. or hire people to make him hurt so bad that he begs for forgiveness. he's nothing but an old fuck who's jealous that someone young is driving a new car.

he kept going on and on about it.

justice? does that word no longer exist?

i'm sick and fucking tired of singaporeans. driving around like inconsiderate baffoons.... doing whatever they please... when they want to cut you, you have to give them way.... but if you make a wrong turning... no matter how polite you are, they'll cut you off and not give you way.

what's becoming of them? i'm sick and bloody tired... i want to get away from this hell hole... i hate this fucking place. hate it.

no one has a sense of decency anymore.

and i'm fed up of it.

fed up. maybe this is why people keep wanting to kill us all...

met a friend (an ex) yesterday... but he's starting to drive me kinda nuts.. he's been there for me i admit but at times i wanna smack him...

i get very irritated when people keep poking me in the ribs and trying to act cute... very irritated.. and it's even worse when i get upsetting news like above.. and he kept... ugh...

so bloody annoying... guys acting cute is a turn off instead of a turn on... -rolls eyes-

then right.... he's got this irritating trait... i accidentally poked his eye... i apologised... how many times you want me to say sorry... for fucks' sake... i'm in no mood.. his eye wasn't red but it hurt... ok so i apologised.. gave tissue.. what more you want me to do.

this morning.... despite knowing that i'm so upset about this whole accident/lawyer's letter shite... he still can sms.. Bee, my eye's still red.

what the fuck you want me to do? fine, not happy send me lawyer's letter lah... you won't be the first one this week right.

ugh. everyone should just piss off.

2006-02-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

*sigh* sent ewen his gifts for his birthday that's tomorrow... they will reach him late but will reach him none the less i hope...

no word from him at all... no sms replies nothing.. i swear to god i saw him when i was out with s last week.... S got pissed cos i didnt pay attention to him and kinda shotued OMG that looks like ewen.

he in turn asked me to stop the car or make a u turn and go chase him since i'm so bothered. hmm

oh wells... i think ewen came back to singapore cos i smsed him happy chinese new year but on the wrong mobile number.. his sg one.. instead of his uk... his uk never got delivered so i guess maybe he changed it? his sg one accepted.. hmm

sighs. i can't believe he'll be so heartless as to throw away something so precious... well that says a lot...

sigh.

valentine's coming. so far i've declined 5 dates. :\ going to spend it with dylan.... doubt S and me will spend it together though he keeps asking for gifts.. hmm.. maybe he'll spend it with his gf... aiya i dunno if he's got a gf or not ... -shrugs-

whatever la.

so tired... yet not.. so lonely though i'm not.

so loved yet i feel.... i feel like i've never been so lonely... never been so uncared for and never felt so unloved.

the love feels like it's trying to reach me but i'm repelling it... dunnooooooooooooooooo

ugh. i need to get away from this place. i still think about ewen so much.. :( so many things remind me of him. so many.

my heart's still broken and i dunno when it's going to be fixed. i really dont..

i tried letting go... i tried so hard and failed so miserably.

so... miserably.

i wish i could turn ack the hands of time and freeze hte frames to the time when he felt he was falling for me..... and i'll do me best to convince him it's a good idea...

my soulmate.... my soul is empty.. lost

i miss you so much baby.......... but i know you don't miss me like i do miss you

peace love and blessings

2006-01-25T10:37:00.000+08:00

who's your inner rock star?

Bjork
Wow, your inner rock star is Bjork. You've charmed the world with your beautiful, zany, personal style. To say you're a member of the alternative set would be a gross understatement. You and Bjork define alternative in its purest form. You've got nothing to prove, it's your remarkably creative point of view that lets you make art from anything—art, music, politics—whatever makes you passionate. It's just who you are. You've got the courage to experiment with your style and career, and all the while remaining positively sweet and humble. You are as much a free spirit as they come. Celebrate your inner Bjork.

2006-01-25T10:21:00.000+08:00

What Do You Want in a Man?
Sade, you're a Romance Middle High!

Romance
Although you're a sucker for romance, you'll probably cut a guy some slack even if he doesn't constantly pamper you with gifts and affection. You crave passion in your relationships, so you want a guy who can (and will) express his deepest feelings for you through his actions. Someone like Richard Gere or George Clooney, perhaps? But you know that men aren't very romantic, so you're willing to lower your standards in this area if need be. Chances are you're willing to stick around once the courting period ends, though it's still very important that your guy occasionally dote upon you. Your realistic-yet-hopeful outlook will guarantee you a good catch!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maturity
Love might be a serious game, but it should still be fun. Too much sophistication can kill the romance. But we didn't have to tell you that. It sounds like you always go for the kind of guy who knows how to cut loose and just be himself. Practicality and maturity are respectable qualities, sure, and no man should be completely without them, but they've never been high on your list of important ingredients for an exciting night out. Based on your answers, we think your perfect guy — someone like Jerry Seinfeld or Cuba Gooding Jr., perhaps? — should know how to have a great time without acting too childish or outrageous. Whether he adds a little bit of danger to your life or just has a great sense of humor, your ideal man would still be young enough at heart to let the kid in him emerge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lifestyle
Love doesn't come cheap, but it doesn't have to be all that expensive, either. It sounds like you're not very concerned about your ideal man's financial situation. Of course, we all dream of living well, but it's a mistake to mix your expectations of love with your hopes for a first-class lifestyle. Based on your answers, it seems like money isn't a real romantic concern for you. On the airplane of love, you're just as happy traveling coach as first class. (Two TV guys who live up to your financial expectations — or lack thereof — are Chandler and Ross from "Friends.") Being detached from materialist concerns is a healthy, realistic attitude and should help make you happy. It means that when Mr. Right crosses your path, you'll be sure to recognize him and not worry about the size of his wallet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looks
You may not judge a book entirely by its cover, but you definitely like the cute ones. (Who doesn't?!) You might consider someone who's a little less than gorgeous, but you generally tend to seek out very handsome men who can really turn heads. Matt Damon? Noah Wyle? Right up your alley. But if need be, you're willing to place personality and chemistry before a pretty face and a hot body. Nevertheless, your answers reveal that you take pride in your man's appearance and get a thrill out of watching others gawk at him. You're impressed by looks, and you definitely set your standards high when it comes to physical appearance. Still, you also realize that beauty may be only skin deep and that an average-looking guy with tons of charm might be your perfect match in every other way!

2006-01-25T10:02:00.000+08:00

What Does Your Hair Say About You?

Sade, your hair personality is Edgy
You refuse to buy into trends and would much rather wear a one-of-a-kind creation than something purchased at a mall. Blech. When it comes down to it, you break the style rules and love being unique. Your individuality has probably produced many unconventional hairstyles, whether or not you've dared to bear the shortest, spikiest hair or the shaggiest mullet in town. No matter what, you adore being edgy, so take control and give your hair a new twist — bang-accenting highlights or a wild new cut. Being an individual is always hot.

2006-01-25T09:48:00.000+08:00

did a test on tickle... what is your color.. heh.. :) anyone here at all surprised?:)

Sade, your true color is
Black!

Black
Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

2006-01-24T10:27:00.000+08:00

went for this party last nite.... not too bad... :) saw an ol' fren too and he looks fab!

suppose to go for franz but he can't make it.. oh wells :)

2006-01-23T16:24:00.000+08:00

the book i'm currently reading... graphic novel style but quite cool none the less... bit strange but interesting.....

been very into the graphic novels.... chester brown, joe sasco, seth, marjane satrapi... etc

2006-01-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

last week was so crappy.

S and me had a lil' fight. such a petty little fight..

he's done worse stuff to me yet i always forgave him and yet for something so lil' and immature and PETTY he was pissed at me for a week...

and every lil' thing seem to trigger him... ugh.. was so frustrating. i lost sleep over it cos i hate it when someone's angry at me for nothing

of course this led to me being relatively irritable cos i was so tired and since my 'aunt' had come for a visit.... i was so snappy and moody too

always sulky and always sad.... cos i did miss him.... and he was such a jerk still

saturday was the last straw... basically he sms to ask me about stock take and whether i'll be going on sunday to work as well to which i said no... then i advised him to not go on sunday as well cos he needs to take a chill pill and RELAX...

he said he had a bad week too... but of course i know next to nothing about it cos well... we didn't talk remember?

sighs.... what i wanna know is..... is he acting this way cos he's got back together with his gf who doesn't want him to see me anymore or wat... thing is he's not telling me ANYTHINg... and it's driving me nuts...

-sighs-

but i still like him

dunno why. major rebound huh. heh.

sighs.

dunno why i'm putting up with it also.... but i am....

guess i'll look back and smack meself on the head about this one.....

i know quite a few people already have... LITERALLY.... =x

been writing poems again recently..... i always start off with emotional stuff which help me get over the writing block that i've had for so long...

then the deeper stuff... will eventually ( i hope) come...

you know what..... i miss .... him (not s)....

i dreamt of him and itw as the most simple thing to dream about....

him...and me.... in good times....

cuddling me.... in bed.... watching tv... as i slowly drifted off to sleep.... him holding me in his arms........ can almost.... smell.... him =|

-sigh- it's been how long already? heh...

peace love and blessings...

2006-01-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

so i'm stuck at home.. saturday.. the first frigging saturday of the year... fanbloodytastic..

suppose to go out for dinner. suppose to be out on a date.. suppose to go celebrate yummy glenn's birthday together with his gf and teresa and his yummy friends vincent (Whom i have a major crush on) and rafi (who's deep and an absolutely sweetie and whom syida thinks is so cute)

but noooooo... then.. gareth calls me up to ask if i wanna have coffee with him but can i ? noooo cos i'm so damn sick.. usually it won't bother me so much but i can't get anyone else sick too now can i... plus there's this damn wedding anniversary that's going on tomorrow and i've gotta go and it seems i'm being forced to put on a damn performance but i put my foot down and i'm doing no such thing cos i don't want to.

i went to jb with me folks yesterday... ok la... it's not the same as me going in with me boys.... oh wells.. got stuff i wanted so ok lah...

-sigh- can't help but wonder what this year has in stall for me... been trying to get back into the writing poetry thing.... soppy stuff yea but at least it gets me started so that i can write deeper stuf that i used to AGES ago... one of me other new year's resolutions that i'm trying to keep since i obviously sorta broke the one about S... sighs.. still dunno what i see there but i'm definitely getting bored.

i guess what kinda upset me is wen... i dunno what he wants la... msg him he doesn't reply me.... takes so damn long.... he claims he's not giving me attitude but he is. i dunno what i expect of him but i guess i want him to be civil la... sighs.. be friends..... but i guess.. i dunno la... i guess that's what's been bringing me down cos i wasn't so bad til recently...

sigh

anyway... the dvd wish list has shrunk a bit only la.. see those struck out.. doh means i've got them now la :P since they don't have the puffy shirt edition for seinfeld and they're only selling the dang box set alone without the limited edition stuff... no point la... and for some strange reason i can't find any place selling frasier first season.. sobs...

dvd wish list: no particular order
1) the L word - season 2 onwards
~~2) queer as folk - season 4 and 5~~
3) only fools and horses - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
4) yes prime minister
5) the brittas empire - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
6) keeping up appearances
7) the critic
8) 3rd rock from the sun - season 1, 2, 3, 4...
9) dilbert
10) the oblongs
11) god, the devil and bob
12) fawlty towers
13) frasier - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
14) king of the hill - seasons 1, 2, 3
15) friends - season 6, 7, 8, 9
16) futurama - ~~season 1,~~ 3, 4
~~17) mind your language~~
~~18) Seinfeld - seasons 5 and 6~~
~~19) stewie - the untold story - family guy~~

2006-01-04T14:52:00.000+08:00

when will i go. dunno.

broke.. kinda..
bored.. very

you know what i think i need to get outta this damn country. i'm too suffocated.

2006-01-04T14:20:00.000+08:00

so i snapped.

he said something and it triggered a whole bunch of frustrations that came out with a defiant shout/sarcastic remark.

so what's it gonna be i asked....

to which he replied me.... guess you must be stressed this wk....

wat the ..

2005-12-31T13:11:00.000+08:00

yet another year has passed by so quickly.... a re-cap of what's happened in 2005...

started year off with a broken heart... heh...and so began a mindboggling, emotionally driven year mainly....

emotionally wise i think i've been a total mess in 2005.... i think i fell so hard for wen that i couldn't think straight and screwed up with other things....

sure things kinda went back to normal after his birthday and all but i guess... it all had to end sometime... i guess things went downhill by july.... and soon..... it was all over.... and i was shattered.... absolutely shattered.....

still trying to get over him and i think i've more or less mended my heart.... though not fully.... but yea...

been going out with different people but not making much of an effort....

work as usual has been more or less good.... authors this year... stephen leather.. richard lloyd parry who called me an absolute PR goddess wow.... jung chang and jon halliday.... one of the biggest authors... jung definitely the biggest paperback author in the world... john connolly.. one of the sweetest authors with the sexiest accent ;) hehe.. irish.... :) had some locally based authors too.. mark daniel, martin roll.... ohhh and of course... the BIGGEST.... BIGGEST AUTHOR.... JEFFREY ARCHER..... :) who thinks i'm magnificent... :) good good year.... :)

my new years' resolutions... simple... well mind you it'll take a while but i've already started working on it...

1) get back to being the ol' girl i was... stronger.. wiser... hahaha :) time to pull my socks up
2) stop being so emo. hahaha...
3) date more. :P HAHAHAHAHA.... get out there.
4) better time management....
5) do more publicity....
6) find a way to get a scholarship....
7) be more focus... more selfish (in a good way) put myself first instead of others... gotta decide what i wanna do with my life...
8) like S.......... LESS.. time to get over him already good lord...
9) play bass again... i've started... now to keep at it.
10) feel better about myself.... learn to like myself cos i know i've hated myself in 2005.
11) get back in touch with more friends... i made an effort in 2005 and now i've gotta work harder at it in 2006...

wish list for 2006: mainly DVDS

1) franz ferdinandz concert : 16th february 2006. MUST GO
2) oasis concert: 23rd feb : MUST GO!

dvd wish list: no particular order
1) the L word - season 2 onwards
~~2) queer as folk - season 4 and 5~~
3) only fools and horses - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
4) yes prime minister
5) the brittas empire - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
6) keeping up appearances - season ~~1, 2,~~ 3, 4
7) the critic
8) 3rd rock from the sun - season 1, 2, 3, 4...
9) dilbert
10) the oblongs
11) god, the devil and bob
12) fawlty towers
13) frasier - season 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
14) king of the hill - seasons 1, 2, 3
15) friends - season 6, ~~7, 8,~~ 9
16) futurama - season 1, 3, 4
~~17) mind your language~~

2005-12-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

i love him to death... he's soooo sexy.... and he's got the kinda look i go for

dark hair
pale skin
greenish eyes.

ohhhh drools..

2005-12-29T14:52:00.000+08:00

Many years ago there was a period of time that is often casually called "Medieval." It was a time, so the story tellers tell us, of tiny kingdoms, brave knights and ferocious dragons.

Transportation and travel were both crude and difficult, usually necessitating that each kingdom be as self sufficient and self reliant as possible. So it was very important that within each kingdom all the major crafts and professions of the day were ably represented to insure the survival of the kingdom. In the English language we still see remnants of some occupations in the familiar surnames such as Carpenter, Miller and Baker.

Interestingly enough, beyond the specific title the vocation also took on its own greater personality. This personality preference can also give a broader understanding of the basic complementary style and types necessary to the kingdom's survival, or perhaps any organization's success. Although the specific vocation influenced the name, it was no accident that certain personality types and styles gravitated to certain occupations. The personality of these jobs suited the inclinations of the job holders, and the predecessor to modern day job descriptions was born. The successful matching of a job-holder's personality to the personality and unique requirements of the job was necessary to the kingdom's survival, or perhaps any organization's success. The successful kingdoms more than likely were able to blend the differences into a powerful and formidable entity. With today's diverse workforce, the corporate kingdom that acknowledges and nurtures these personality preferences could become an organization as successful as the Camelot of old.

Even though we now appear to have the freedom to explore many different career alternatives, we still have a medieval vocational personality within each of us. This personality, properly identified and understood, can motivate our success but, if ignored, may set the stage for our ultimate failure. Since times appeared to be simpler then, let us return to the kingdoms of medieval Europe and see what we would have done then, regardless of what our names are now.

Your distinct personality, The Prime Minister might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are a strategist who pursues the most efficient and logical path toward the realization of the goal that you perceive or visualize. You will often only associate with those people who can assist you in the implementation of your plan. Inept assistants may be immediately discarded as excess baggage. To do otherwise could be seen as inefficient and illogical. On the positive side, you can be rationally idealistic and analytically ideological. You can be a bold decision maker and risk taker who can move society ahead by years instead of minutes. On the negative side, you may be unmerciful, impatient, impetuous and impulsive. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms

2005-12-27T10:08:00.000+08:00

firstly... compliments of the season....

it happened again between S and me... 21st.... :P

on 19th i gave him a liverpool trivia book
on 20th i gave him a compilation cd that he seems to like a lot since he's always listening to it and it has some of his fave pop songs...
on 21st i gave him another compilation cd... this time with rock ballads.. more my kinda thing... we went shoppin together......... then one thing led to another.... all i can say is i drove him nuts. yay :) haha
on 22nd... gave him his actual gift.... renoma wallet....
on 23rd well he was on leave but left him another compilation cd... rnb stuff
also shared gift with 2 others for him.. liverpool calender..

hmm.. notice a trend?

also bought something for wen.... though i highly doubt he wants to meet up with me... though i did ask....

as much as i like S..... i still think about wen.... i guess cos he was the love of me life and it's quite hard to move on from that.. something so diff for me... :P

*sigh* well 2006 is coming soon.... and i've got a list of 'to-dos' to make 2006 a much better year for myself.

i'm gonna be 25 (Good lord...) and it's time i take charge of my own life again.... i was a changed person when i was with ewen.... in a way... not as strong cos i had become too emotionally dependent on him cos he was me life... and i miss being the strong person i was before......... now it's time for the search to begin..... wish me luck....

despite that... i think if anyone asked me if i'd change anything... i'll still say no....... cos that was really a great experience for me..... being so in love with someone like that.... hope it can happen again.....

peace love and blessings

2005-12-11T16:53:00.000+08:00

stole this from max :) i like the meaning behind it.. plus i like the crow...

2005-12-09T12:21:00.000+08:00

i still can't digest what happened between S and me on 6th december...

what started off as flirting a while ago.... to intense flirting few months ago

to him asking me for interesting pics and stuff few wks ago and us flirting even more...... and getting more and more intense...

ended up with something happening on 6th december....

started off shy... didn't go all the way.... but enough... though we had a couple of rules of what we can and cannot do...

quite impressed.. and i guess it was bound to happen soon enough....

can't help but wonder if it'll happen again...

obviously.... he's no..... ****.... but.... because i loved **** it's different... it'll always be on a much higher level.... with S.... it was still very very hot...

very.... VERY ... hot... :)

hope it happens again.

:)

peace love and blessings

2005-11-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

Play Mario Rush Arena

Play Super Mario X

2005-11-18T21:42:00.000+08:00

should i go later or not? gotta wait soooo long for teresa... -yawns- at office doing work.. but getting sleepy...

probably will meet rafi and glenn tan first then see what happens lah... rafi evil call me pussy if i dont go.. -rolls eyes-

plus is free flow of vodka.. but vodka coke. eep...

but then i survived jd cola non stop without puking...soooooo

anyway... yea.. updates.

so we had our office party at garden hotel (where?) and it was fantastic.. 70s theme... all went well everyone had a fab time.. the team who helped us with the party planning is the A TEAM... look for them if you need to arrange function.. they're bloody good.. i did me hair all cos organiser... had halter top etc... so farah fawcett haha.. as i was later nicknamed...

whole party fab... except one lil' mishap that nite that happened to me.. :

anyway.. won couple of prizes lah... cannot win evreything cos still organiser haha :) later they think bias :P can go shop at island shop and mac now... 100++++ vouchers :) SWEET!

yea.. you know i'm depressed when I OF ALL PEOPLE get excited about shopping.

lots has been happening. my job is making me tired... my passion is slowly dying off as i deal with so much additional paperwork... i feel i can't do what i really am meant to do... publicity and promotions...

i feel shitty about meself.. been down on esteem and it's really bad.. no one can seem to lift it up.. no one but one person.... he knows who he is...

i feel so lost.. i think maybe i'm sufferin either from

a) job fatigue especially since i work 7 days a week!!

b) quarter life crisis....

sigh. the other reason is simple

cos of what happened at the party.. it brought back so many feelings and emotions that i thought i had bottled up way back then when i was 17..

i feel so fucked up now.. and scared.. and i dunno what to do.. i dunno if i can handle all that shite that happened back then all over again.

=cries bitterly=

now all i need to do is let it all out for real instead of just online... cos i feel so fucking empty inside right now i dunno how to un-numb myself

peace love and blessings

2005-11-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

The Cure : Love Song (This is for you)

Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel

Like I am home again whenever I'm alone with

You you make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel

Like I am young again whenever I'm alone with

You you make me feel like I am fun again

However far away I will always love you however

Long I stay I will always love you whatever

Words I say I will always love you I will always

Love you

Whenever I'm alone with you you make me feel

Like I am free again whenever I'm alone with

You you make me feel like I am clean again

However far away I will always love you however

Long I stay I will always love you whatever

Words I say I will always love you I will always

Love you

2005-10-26T09:50:00.000+08:00

Dilettante
You scored 45% Experience, 54% Adventurousness, 55% Kinkyness, and 45% Corrupt!

You have definitly found your way to pleasure. You know what you like and continue to do it. Do not hesitate to continue to push your limits. Do not get stuck only doing what is comfortable. Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves when we push ourselves harder and further on the journey to self discovery.

Please remember to rank my test. Thank You

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 98% on Experience

You scored higher than 79% on Adventurousness

You scored higher than 79% on Kinkyness

You scored higher than 98% on Corruption

Link: The Sexual Experimentation Test written by LadyLilithDreams on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2005-10-24T12:18:00.000+08:00

JOHN CONNOLLY IS AN ABSOLUTE SWEETIE!!! :) He actually remembered that i've been looking for the spinal tap dvd for the longest time.. and he got it for me... he's such a generous man and the best part of it is that he is absolutely genuine.. i had the best time when he came down to singapore.. from 2nd aug to 9th aug.. i was so so sad to say goodbye to him... :(

he was so charming and so sweet and so friendly and DAMN what an intelligent man with a wicked sense of humor... sharp sharp man. lol... hope he comes to singapore again.... :)

here are his gifts... well i had cds and books too... will add them when i scan them in... those i had when he was still in singapore... he really takes pains to remember lil' things.... :) so touched.

his gift

his postcard

2005-10-11T15:46:00.000+08:00

Curvy and Naughty
Raw score: 88% Big Breasts, 63% Big Ass, and 32% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, larger asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test.

Note that you like women overall curvier than average.

My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sexier, naughtier look. Kudos!

Recommended Celebrities: Supermodel Laetitia Casta and Actress Angelina Jolie.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on tit-size

You scored higher than 86% on ass-size

You scored higher than 2% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2005-10-03T19:07:00.000+08:00

he leaves today... For the first time in a long time... We were nice to each other.. He wasn't so cold. I chatted like crazy cos I was so nervous....

on the way to his place.. so many memories.. how i used to be there so often... so happy to be going there.... to hear him play his guitar... to watch tv together or just snuggle in bed.... the nearer i went to his place.. i hear IT'S NO ORDINARY LOVE by sade.... the tears were getting there i could feel it...

then... driving by his road..... reaching nearer... i teared a bit then went.. ok stop it... don't crack yet.... called him.. went upstairs... sat on his bed.... watched him pack.... yakked yakked as i do when i'm nervous...

bought him a bilabong cap and gave him this journal with the DEATH cartoon image (SANDMAN COMICS) in and on it....... with a lil' note to him....

he comes back in dec... then whilst talkin' to him i had some bad news as well.. me dad called me and we spoke and i was mighty upset.. and cried all over again...

sighs... then he held me.. ruffled me hair... massaged me neck and hugged me shoulders... and just made me feel better... i really wish he didn't have to go then. i need him so much now.... but it's not fair....

(heh.. now in background as i type this... nothing compares to you plays on me launch cast video).. sighs...

anyway.. i had to leave as heard his mum comin' home.. i dun wanna interfere in family time... and he had more to pack... so i left... we hugged...... a long long hug..... long tight hug.. those old hugs i used to love getting from him.... and he sniffed me hair and held me close..... pretended to sleep lol.. so i tickled him and he held me again.....

i buried ... me face in that lil' area... i dunno what it's called but it's the collar bone + shoulder area.... that lil' nook.. i've never actually 'fit' into someone's that collar bone - shoulder area... before.....

i did.. for ewen.... he was the first guy i actually fit in that 'nook' (easier that saying the whole damn thing) and i loved to nuzzle there.. and i did just now... and i couldn't help meself.. but i cried all over again.... cos it just brought back so many memories.. and he held me tighter and rubbed me back....

then i kissed his cheek........

and snuggled again... in that lil' nook.. my face... then i looked at him.. he looked at me... in ... THAT way.... then.... he kissed my top of me head.. forehead... nose... cheeks... chin... and lips... just like he used to.... before......

god how i miss that.. i broke down again but kinda sucked it in... hugged him again and made him kiss me like that again.... his lips.. so soft...

i'm crying all over again just thinkin' about it...

i think it was ok when we didnt meet up as much or we were going thru a rough patch and all but he was still in sg... now he's leavin'.... and .. i dunno lah...

anyway... then he walked me out dad came back lah... then.... we hugged again... i drove off.. didn't really look back cos i just... couldnt.....

then i drove to work... cryin' the minute i left his road....

all the way... til now.. it's been 3 hours.

teresa called (thanks baby grl) but i could barely talk.. she said i sounded like a duck... subtlely she asked if i was sick. i said no.. then she said why i'm cryin' over the jerk... basically she's been hearin me whine lah... sighs.

but nobody.. nobody knew how he was when we were together. nobody... nobody knows him like i do.. nobody knows how sweet he was. nobody...

=(

i still love you. i will always love you... i will haev to get over you if there's really no hope for us ever.... i leave it in the hands of fate.. i just have to grow now but i dun want you out of my life....

i love you ewen. i do. now. always. forever... intensity of me love for you may change but you'll always be... always... be ... the most special person to me.... even if you feel you're not special at all... you'll always be the most special love... lover i've ever had...

peace love and blessings

2005-09-22T13:46:00.000+08:00

despite the fact that he's been acting like such a jerk to me.. i thought of him when i heard this song and saw the lyrics.

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

2005-08-29T12:03:00.000+08:00

WWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!! Dunno if i can make it for the launch.. i hope so.... but looking forward to album 2!!!!! YAY! :)

2005-08-21T17:47:00.000+08:00

2005-08-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new
A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing...
And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable
There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

2005-08-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2005-08-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

2005-08-18T21:22:00.000+08:00

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

2005-08-18T21:20:00.000+08:00

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

2005-08-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

2005-08-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

2005-08-15T17:08:00.000+08:00

What's New: House-isms For Every Situation

Courtesy of Dr. Gregory House, M.D.

Overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated? We understand! So straight from the mouth of Dr. Gregory House, we present the House-isms you will need to survive the work-day.

Warning: Use at your own risk.

1. House-ism: "I'm too handsome to do paperwork"
To use when: Your colleague asks you to file a document.

2. House-ism: "Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree."
To use when: Your boss asks you to do the impossible (again).

3. House-ism: "Check for evil stepmothers. This much sleep usually indicates poison apples."
To use when: You catch your colleague falling asleep at work.

4. House-ism: " It turns out your best judgment is not good enough. Here's an idea: next time, use mine"
To use when: Your boss made a mistake.

5. House-ism: "I hired you because you look good. It's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby"
To use when: Your subordinate asks you why you don't listen to his/her opinion.

6. House-ism: "Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun."
To use when: Someone's been trying desperately to get your attention.

7. House-ism: "Could we get off my screw-ups and focus on theirs? Theirs is bigger."
To use when: Your boss tells you you've made a mistake.

8. House-ism: "Everyone knows what's wrong with me. What's wrong with him is much more interesting."
To use when: Your colleague asks, "What's wrong with you?"

2005-07-29T09:23:00.000+08:00

We talked yesterday... i told him everything on my mind.. in my heart.. my fears.. my hurt.. me pain.. everything.. i feel so light now.. we went home at almost 3am.. i'm so sleepy now.. but it's worth it.. we kissed... cuddled... i can sense he cares about me... and knowing that he doesn't wanna lose the friendship means something too

i don't think he'll ever love me like i do him... i dunno if i'll ever love someone like i do him.. so immensely.. so wholely... so selflessly... but i'm mature enough to know that i'll never force him to feel that way... especially when he doesn't even believe in love... or have love for anyone else.. ever...

when i hear i'll remember you by skid row... it's you who'll always be on my mind... and also when i hear this song.. iris by goo goo dolls...

2 years+ and my love for you hasn't faded a bit... i'll always love you... don't feel bad for not being able to feel the same way.. maybe... it's... just not meant to be.... this is a first for me... longest ever... and one of the most painful experiences ever.... but anytime i'm with you.. i'm happy. like i've never been happier with no other..

as usual.. we'll hang out.. and it'll be like normal cos i never force my love on you... it's just there... i love you ewen... more than you'll ever know... more than i can handle...

peace (i think i've found it), love (it's never painless) and blessings (for all)

--------------------------------

Goo Goo Dolls : Iris

And I’d give up forever to touch you
’cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that i’ll
Ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
’cause sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d
Understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t
Coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d
Understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d
Understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d
Understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

2005-07-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

i'm forgetting what it's like to be ok. to be normal. to be me..:)

that's why i said i feel like i'm gonna crack any minute.

i did yesterday.

got pissed off at 'wonderboy'. mona thinks i've over-reacted. basically.. everytime i ask wonderboy out, he'll say you ask reg and mona to go also. no probs with that except i've already asked. or i already know you guys don't like arcade for eg and he's ok with that.. what's the point of me asking and asking the same thing rite.

anyway.. i dunno why but yesterday annoyed the hell out of me lah.. basically i asked him to go with me for this dinner tonite.. not cos i like him or anything. simple reasons:

1) he's stressed about sales.. look at the presentation just now.. lucy kinda nitpick..so increase sales gd rite.. the dinner tonite lots of big contacts.
2) last time he needed someone to go with him to arts house i went.. so why when i ask this time cannot
3) he knows the guy there also... he's the advertising agent... so what's the problem?

all i wanted was a simple yes or no answer. that's it. not asking much. ask me this lah that lah.. i got annoyed when he said... better if go with mona rite.

i know mona won't go. for what also rite. anyway.. it kinda reminded me of HIS reaction to things.. like want lah dun want ... but not sure.. and it just fucking drove me nuts so i blasted wonderboy.

'all i wanna know is if you can go or not, that's it. tot since i followed you last time you could go with me this time. also an avenue for you to maybe increase your contacts. society kinda stuff. with W******. you met him before. he does our newspaper ads. (THEN COMES THE MAIN BIG BIT - btw, GUYS as in men in general)

ask you out every time you push me to ask this one that one.. why? wassup with that? i can ask them if i want you know. wassup with you guys nowadays. maybe it's me. what now? i'm too boring not just to ewen but every other guy too issit?!

ugh.

anyway.. after i lost it with wonderboy. i lost it at a whole bunch of other mates. namely guys. heh

then told all of them off. god knows why. drummerboy told me not to treat him like a punchin bag cos HE'S a bastard... example of 1 of many reactions heh.

i then decided to attack the source.. and i did... HIM... with this sms: wtf is up with all you guys?driving me up the fucking wall. like a fucking domino effect and it all started from you. what have i done to your fucking gender that makes you want to make me so mad huh? since i was 16, haven't i been thru enough shite already? fucking pricks. every single one of you.

to which his reply was : i'm watching csi finale, directed by quentin tarantino...

..... 2 hours later...he smsed... i was out with mum and auntie today.. (HUH????) and finally...he smsed... i think you should take leave. you very stress.

i'm so fuckin' frustrated. think me new boss has got it in for me. then this whole HIM shite. then i can't seem to keep it together and i just keep i dunno lah.. i dun wanna fall into fucking depression... not for someone like HIM... who's so not worth it... well to everyone he's so not worth it... logical part of me knows i can do way better.... but my heart just wants HIM.....

i just need to get away... asap... .....

i apologise to all who got attacked last nite.. i'm so so sorry.... pls have patience with me...

peace (looking for it), love (duped by it) and blessings (looking for 'em)

2005-07-07T02:12:00.000+08:00

why can't i walk away? is it cos of habit? is it an ego thing? that he doesn't want to feel what i'm feeling for him?

am i stupid to still stay when he doesn't even think twice about walking away from me? when he actually says that maybe it'll be better for me when he goes overseas..

i've never been this into anyone.. and it scares me.. is it cos he's not reciprocating what i'm feeling.... so i want him more? being human nature of course.. you always want what you can't have

but is this healthy.. for my sanity? he sees no wrong in how he treats me.. how he selfishly reacts to my feelings when i express them most of the time.

he doesn't see that he's the one playing games with my heart( anyone who breaks into that dumbass backstreet boys song can bite me k) he doesn't want to even think about his actions.. he just does them cos he does.

yet i still love him. i accept him for all his faults.

can't help but think if it was that one night that i said logical things about music... about his approach to music.. that might have sealed the fate..

how he doesn't talk to me about anything deep anymore... how he just answers ok.. dunno.. up to you.. when i ask him stuff..

then he tells me... i'm not even a best mate to him.. i'm just a friend. JUST A FRIEND... like any tom dick or harry..

might as well say i'm disposable... or maybe he has..

i dun feel like i'm special to him at all... he's one of me best mates cos i unravelled my complications to him... let him in.. let him see me at me most vulnerable... few have.... he's gone almost on a solo crusade to uncover how i tick... he's one of 2 people who've gone so close..

but i'm more afraid to lose him compared to the other person..cos i know.. that other person... somehow is always there for me...

i know if i lose him.... it'll be forever.... i'm so scared of that. i can't let go. i know it's for the best... if i don't see him a while... it's wishful thinking i know to think that maybe he'll miss me.... heh....

for goodness sake... i hug him... no one's ever done this to me... i hug... and he keeps his hands ... his arms.. to his side... almost like hugging a brick wall.. no reaction

do i really deserve this? i'm no saint... but do i really... really deserve this...

i know i don't deserve to be treated like this.. if you don't want to touch you at all. say so. it'll hurt less.. honesty

i'm big about being upfront about things... honesty... frankness...

i dunno what else to say...

i just want to be loved... and to give love to someone..

why can't that someone be you.. why are you so afraid...

and why am i so scared to leave you.... to cut you off forever.... to say.... that final goodbye....

either til you decide to grow up a little.... change your mind set a little.... or realise you've got a good thing with me... and not give it up so coldly

or maybe it's time for me to wake up... smell the coffee and realise... it's time to close that bottle again... pick myself up.. . thought it'll take forever... and to realise... it'll never be him.

but.. do i dare like someone again? can i?

thinking guys are cute and all is one thing... liking them yea... infatuation.. or maybe even unfortunately i may have to admit.. a bit of a distraction or there's something about them that reminds me of him...

will i ever move past this. get over him... when deep down i know... maybe for me.. i may have found the one.... something i didn't really use to believe in.. someone who understands me... so well that he wants to stay as far away from me as he can... cos he doesn't fucking care.

wake up... wake up... give me back my time with you... i wish i could take it back.. i wish you never kissed me that night you stayed over... then i would never have had to acknowledge that i really did care about you so much.....

and yet.. a big part of me doesn't regret at all that it happened.. cos.. it made me leave my stupid thinking of age being a major factor in love...

and that despite it all.... knowing that you're the only one who can really make me feel at peace... and ironically... happy and content with life.. no matetr how shitty it can be..

2005-06-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and i'm cranky and i'm bored outta me mind. sick yet again. yes yes.. get more sleep etc.. i know i know.. and i will.. got a big.. no wait.. 2 big authors coming in on 10th july and i'm freaking out. ugh. so much to do so little time.. where does time go. got catalogues to do too..eek.. on mc til thursday.. then i go back in and gotta work like crazy again..

ugh. i dun think i'm bored of work yet but it takes a toil after a while.. despite being sick i've still gotta log on to check mail cos there's so many things that needs me to answer etc.. sians.

giddy and all.. fever 40 again.. man.. am i burning out at a ripe young age of 24? can't be.. i hope not. eesh.

no no it's the flu bug.

i'm so bored and it's so quiet at home.. with me mama around yea lah.. got company all but she'll nag and nag and then i'll get nothing done.. wish he'll visit me :( dunno what he's doing now. so sians :(

i dun wanna get him sick also lah.. but boring lahhhh :( will he or won't he visit me... :(

bluek.. i'm outta here.. back's aching.. work's more or less done.. yech. its' done!
i'm done.

peace love and blessings and whinings.

2005-06-22T09:14:00.000+08:00

See Dy.. I do read your blog ;) hehe.. bleh... yah.. uh that makes five.. thanks ah.. i feel so loved :P :P hehe..

Tag Five People And Have Them Fill This Out On Their Blogs:

Amir.. :) Definitely.. and I read yours too ;) hehe...

Ewan.. I know you read sometimes cos you leave msgs... i miss you ah.. long time never talk....

Syida: ahlo birthday grl (for yesterday anyway.. i know you read;) Hehe... muacks

Ryan: :) :) :) i know you read!! hehe. i read yours too.. we meet soon yes :D

Ewen: you don't blog no more.. don't know why i'm still going there..

2005-06-20T11:27:00.000+08:00

Ong Jia Hui 16 april 1981 - june 17 2005..

May you rest in peace.... Regrets come too late.. we spoke about meeting up.. who would have ever guess we would meet up next at your wake.. =( it's too late to wish we kept in touch more etc... too late.. may you never be a lost memory... r.i.p

Friday • June 17, 2005

Army specialist drowns at Changi Naval Base

A 24-year-old Army specialist drowned during training for maritime counter terrorism in the waters of Changi Naval Base. Second Sergeant Ong Jia Hui was discovered missing around 5.40pm on Wednesday. A safety diver on standby was immediately activated. The diver found Sergeant Ong in about 5 minutes. He was given treatment at the medical centre before being evacuated to Changi General Hospital within half-an-hour of the incident. He was pronounced dead at around 7pm.

Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean said yesterday: "I would like to extend our condolences to the family of Sergeant Ong ... We will have to look into the reason of the cause of death."

2005-06-06T18:10:00.000+08:00

http://flash.qbol.net/pl;p/youxi/images/04042203.swf

There are less than 4000 people in the world who can escape this house.

There are 13 items hidden in this room in order to let you get out of this room.
If you found:
0-6 items, your IQ is very low, total idiot
6-8 items, Low IQ, u r an idiot
9-10 items, u r normal
11-12 items, your IQ is high, above the average.
13 items found and get out of the room; there are less than 4000 people in the world who can do it.

randy toh my mr potatoh. i want to kill you. i found bloody 12 of them but i keep misaiming when the dude points.. fucks sake.

drives me nuts.

find it people good luck.

p.s. k1k = b.c. is it you

2005-06-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

JOSS STONE: YOU HAD ME

You had me
You lost me
You're wasted
You cost me
I don't want you here messing with my mind

Spitting in my eyes and I still see
Tried to keep me down
I'm breaking free
I don't want no part in your next fix
Someone needs to tell you this is it

Hey listen you'll be missin'
Out on all my love and my kissing
Make your mistakes on your own time
When you come down you're just no good to have around
Instead of making money you took mine

Chorus
You had me
You lost me
You're wasted
You cost me
I don't want you here messing with my mind
I've realized in time
that my eyes are not blind
I've seen it before
I'm taking back my life

You tried to trade on my naivete
But the things you do and say embarrass me
See once upon a time I was your fool
But the one I leave behind is you

Hey listen you'll be missin'
Out on all my love and my kissing
Make your mistakes on your own time
When you come down you're just no good to have around
Instead of making money you took mine

Chorus

Vodka and a packet of cigarettes
That's all it used to be but now
You're sniffing on snow when you're feeling low
Suffocating dreams that could have been
Maybe for a minute I was down with that
But it didn't take long for me to see the light
You swore you had control of it
But when I stepped back you slipped on your supply

Chorus

Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life
Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life
Ain't nobody got no business stressing all the time
Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life

Chorus

Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life
Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life
Ain't nobody got no business stressing all the time
Taking it back I'm taking it back
Taking back my life

2005-06-02T13:41:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2005-05-31T09:00:00.000+08:00

Rob Thomas: Lonely No More

Now it seems to me
That you know just what to say
Words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever baby

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

Now its hard for me with my heart still on the mend
Open up to me, like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Make me say anything; just to get you back again
Why can we just try

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you, what if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise, what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

[Chorus:]
I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore

I don't wanna be lonely anymore [x3]

2005-05-26T15:08:00.000+08:00

F'in Rock Star!!!!
81

Damn, way to go! You either maxxed or nearly maxxed my test!!! I'd say you're either a former flower child, or you just have an interest in classic rock that rivals my own. You kick ass.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 38% on variable 1

Link: The real classic rock trivia Test written by fallschirmjager on Ok Cupid

2005-05-26T14:39:00.000+08:00

Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 40% visual, 80% verbal, and 160% mathematical!

Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

2005-05-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

Your brain: 120% interpersonal, 40% visual, 80% verbal, and 160% mathematical!

Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

alt="free online dating" src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0>
You scored higher than 79% on interpersonal
alt="free online dating" src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0>
You scored higher than 34% on visual
alt="free online dating" src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0>
You scored higher than 56% on verbal
alt="free online dating" src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif" border=0>
http://www.okcupid.com/">%20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="http://is0.okcupid.com/graphics/0.gif"%20border=0>
You scored higher than 92% on mathematical

Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid

2005-05-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

Muse: Hysteria

it's bugging me

calling me

and twisting me around

yeah I'm endlessly

caving in

and turning inside out

because I want it now

I want it now

give me your heart and your soul

and I'm breaking out

I'm breaking out

that's when she'll lose control

yeah it's hurting me

morphing me

and forcing me to strive

to be endlessly

caving in

and dreaming of my love

because I want it now

I want it now

give me your heart and your soul

I'm not breaking down

I'm breaking out

that's when she'll lose control

and I want you now

I want you now

I feel my heart implode

and I'm breaking out

escaping now

feeling my faith grow old

2005-05-03T18:26:00.000+08:00

Sexy Sadie by John Lennon & Paul McCartney
Sexy Sadie what have you done
You made a fool of everyone
You made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie ooh what have you done.

Sexy Sadie you broke the rules
You layed it down for all to see
You layed it down for all to see
Sexy Sadie oooh you broke the rules.

One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover
She came along to turn on everyone
Sexy Sadie the greatest of them all.
Sexy Sadie how did you know

The world was waiting just for you
The world was waiting just for you
Sexy Sadie oooh how did you know.
Sexy Sadie you'll get yours yet

However big you think you are
However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie oooh you'll get yours yet.

We gave her everything we owned just to sit at her table
Just a smile would lighten everything
Sexy Sadie she's the latest and the greatest of them all.
She made a fool of everyone

Sexy Sadie.
However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie.

2005-05-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

Am I annoymous?
It's scary
I'm struggling to define
My power of influence

Your responsibility?
That's not what I'm about
Admit to yourself
You're my anti-drug

I love you
Don't walk away
Where are you really going?
To the surface, to escape the pressure?
Or just to escape me..

2005-05-02T14:06:00.000+08:00

i don't ever wanna feel like i did that day.. take me to the place i love take me all the way....

so i turned 24 on 8th april (thanks for the gifts/sms/msgs/emails/hugs/blessings/kisses/etc etc etc everyone!) and has anything changed? not much.... heh

good things going on in terms of work... everything's more or less wrapped up for me harry potter project.. hoorah.. doing it as a one girl show is no joke!!! but i've done it and a sense of accomplishment is absolutely sweet :)

apart from that.. met up with a number of mates this month and it was all fabulous.. should do it more often...

of course there has been that regular downside... things on the love department not going the way i want to .. heh.. it never is right... it's always like that.. everytime i have something good going.. i fuck it up...

if i don't fuck it up meself... i find out something and that fucks me up which hence causes me to fuck it up. :) sighs..

it's quite sad actually... think about it... many have perceived me as a love expert of sorts HAHAHAHA.. yea.. with looks like mine? puh - lease... but for some strange reason i've got a track record of guys actually liking me. why i've no idea...

maybe it's cos i act like one... but i look like a grl.. hmm.. i dunno really.. but i'm not complaining..

the sad thing is.. i'm always fallin' for the 'wrong' person or something... hahaha so i'm told... reflecting back on me love life... that's what i've actually realised too. the ones who are so good to me.. i've never fully appreciated unfortunately :( or made them think i've not appreciated them.. for this i apologise...

the even sadder thing is.. maybe it's the 'old age' or something lol.. but i've actually started to reach a point where i'm maybe looking for something a lil' more ... stable? i've been fooling around so much when i was younger... i'd like to see what it'll be like to have something more fruitful... yet.. i still have that immense fear of commitment... and yet not.

i am just ranting.. this doesn't really make sense to anyone else... but it does to me.. i'm hungover now... been hungover the past 2 days... heh... worse part is drinking alone (yesterday.. or should i say earlier this morn) is not the brightest of moves :) drinking with mates is great... that is til something happens and then all the 'truth' gets revealed and gets you into trouble with quite a few people cos you start ranting and ravin' at them and saying all the things you've been bottling up inside :(

anyway.. i'd like to apologise to you.. you know who you are. i'm sorry if i've done anytihng to hurt you.. actually i shouldn't even put the 'IF' in there.. i'm sorry i hurt you. i'm sorry i caused you harm.. but pls don't hate me and pls don't push me away k.. you know i won't hurt you on purpose.. hell no.. i care about you too much to ever want to see you sad or wronged or hurt.

i'm bad at expressing myself verbally... face to face.. it's funny.. i'm shite at talking about feelings and stuff.. i can talk about anything else... expressing meself is really bleah... with a really really close mate i'm fine.. but with the guy i care so much about... words just seem lost.. i pretend to be busy with something.. like this tiny piece of flint on my top for example just to avoid answering a question .. or i'll divert the attention to something else.... damn lame i know..

anyway.. i guess... this song best expresses what i feel and think about YOU.. yes.. still the same YOU i'm talking about... this is for YOU... take note of purple bolded lyrics again.. i'm sorie..

peace love and blessings....

George Michael Amazing lyrics

I was mixed up when you came to me
Too broke to fix
Said 'daddy get you gone, I'm missing my baby'
Still missing my baby

I was stitched up by the hands of fate
Said how you gonna make it on your own
If luck is a lady?
Maybe luck is a lady

I was going down for the third time
My heart was broken, I was not open to your suggestion
I had so many questions
That you just kissed away

Tell me, I guess that cupid was in disguise
That day you walked in and changed my life
I think it's amazing
The way that love can set you free
So now I walk in the midday sun
I never thought that my saviour would come
I think it's amazing
I think it's amazing
I think you're amazing

You tried to save me from myself
Said 'Darling, kiss as many as you want!
My love's still available
And I know you're insatiable

'We're like victimns of the same disease
Look at your Big Bad Daddy, and your mom
And your mom...was always acting crazy

I was going down for the third time
My heart was broken, I thought that loving you was out of the question
Then I saw my reflection
Saying please don't let this go

Tell me, I guess that cupid was in disguise
The day you walked in and changed my life
I think it's amazing
The way that love can set you free

So now I walk in the midday sun
I never thought that my saviour would come
I think it's amazing
I think you're amazing

Celebrate the love of the one you're with
Celebrate, this life with your baby
I think you should celebrate yeah
Don't put your love in chains baby
No no, walk in the midday sun
I thought I was dreaming
I think it's amazing
I think you're amazing
I said celebrate the love of the one you're with

As this life gets colder
And the devil inside
Tells you to give up

2005-04-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

%20align="center"%20background="

http://www.pizzahut.com.sg/html/funzone/images/personality_test/images/super_hawaiian_supreme.jpg">

2005-04-03T12:59:00.000+08:00

may the pope rest in peace.. eternal rest grant onto him lord and let perpetual light shine upon him.. may he rest in peace.. Amen..

the world's lost a great man... :( sighs.......

2005-04-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

I keep on fallin’
In and out of love With you
Sometimes I love ya
Sometimes u make me blue
Sometimes I feel good
At times I feel used
Lovin you darlin’
Makes me so confused
I keep on Fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

Oh, oh , I never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure
And cause me so much pain
Just when I think
Ive taken more than would a fool
I start fallin’ back in love with you

I keep on Fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

Oh baby
I, I, I, I’m fallin’
I, I, I, I’m fallin’
Fall
I keep on Fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
Im fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
Im fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you
What?

2005-04-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

why do you play me?
why did you lie?
i don't know what i've done wrong
really don't want to cry.

i can't bear this pain
can't face my fears
talk to me baby
let me dry your tears

why do you hide
the pain that you feel
why do you deny
letting me in

this hurts so bad
it cuts so deep
maybe you just don't care
that i sit here and weep

2005-03-30T09:31:00.000+08:00

all apologies :(

the reason:
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

2005-03-24T09:49:00.000+08:00

Konsert Hanyut @Singapore Post Centre this Saturday, 26th March, 3 -6pm.

Singapore Post Centre is right at Paya Lebar MRT.

Bhumi band will be performing at 4pm.

woohoo..

unfortunately i can't go cos i'll be at church... O:P

2005-03-23T10:42:00.000+08:00

SADIE-JANE ALEXIS NUNIS

S is for Saucy
A is for Altruistic
D is for Darling
I is for Insane
E is for Entertaining
J is for Joyful
A is for Athletic
N is for Nerdy
E is for Ebullient
A is for Artistic
L is for Legendary
E is for Expressive
X is for XXX
I is for Impressive
S is for Spectacular
N is for Nocturnal
U is for Useful
N is for Natural
I is for Irresistible
S is for Shocking

2005-03-23T10:36:00.000+08:00

Hi.. I'm 1) Sadie-Jane Alexis Nunis OR 2) CLARA DOYLE OR 3)SIOBHAN DOYLE.. nice to meet ya

Your Irish Name Is...

Clara Doyle

What's" your Irish Name?

Your Irish Name Is...

Siobhan Browne

What's" your Irish Name?

2005-03-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

I can hear numerous mates wailing after reading this post.. Don't kill the messenger ;P

SINGAPORE : It's "No Smoking" for more public places from October 1.

Smokers won't be able to light up at bus shelters and interchanges, public toilets, swimming complexes and stadiums and community clubs.

And details of a ban at entertainment outlets will be out by year-end.

That's not all - a decision on banning smoking at hawker centres and coffeeshops - will be made by the end of the year.

Second-hand smoke is a silent killer, said MPs, who wanted more protection for non-smokers.
Ms Indranee Rajah, MP for Tanjong Pagar GRC, said: "The problem with smoking is that it does not just affect the smoker, the second-hand cigarette smoke puts non-smokers at risk as well.
"Smoking is a tenacious and insidious form of chemical poisoning, it kills more slowly than other chemicals but no less surely. I therefore urge the minister to ban smoking at public places."
And the immediate reply was an extension of the ban to bus shelters and interchanges and other public areas.

Entertainment outlets can also expect this too, and there is strong public support for either a complete or partial ban.

Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, Environment & Water Resources Minister, said: "The danger is higher in entertainment outlets. In fact, a study in the journal of the American Medical Association has shown that the level of second-hand smoke in pubs and bars can be up to 450 percent higher than in homes with at least one smoker.

"In the long-run, my ministry's intent is to move towards allowing smoking only in private premises, wide-open spaces and designated smoking areas."

At the same time, Dr Yaacob said the Ministry recognises operators' concerns that the ban could affect business, so the National Environment Agency will hold consultations to address these concerns.

As for extending the ban to hawker centres and coffeeshops, Dr Yaacob said public feedback is supportive of a partial ban as a first step.

The ministry will work with the relevant hawkers and coffee shops associations and make a decision by yearend